50 Cent’s 3 Worst Promises, 2Pac’s Shooter’s Back, Tech N9ne Lets It Spray
[Editor's Note: The views of this column do not necessarily reflect those of SOHH.com]
1. After I Self Destruct
I wish I could say, “I never did like his b*tch a**” but I would be lying, doggies. 5-0 Cent has officially lost it. Not only have his album sales dwindled since 2003 but his confidence has as well. You ever know when your little brother is lying to you, doggies? Y’all know what I mean. You know they stole those cookies from the cookie jar and with crumbs all over his face and hands, he still swears he didn’t lay a finger on them? LOL. 5-0 has as well. Y’all can continue to listen to his bullsh*t explanations for this and that but he’s looking and sounding a lot more shaky these days. His business ventures won’t stand steady, his artists are signed, not signed, kinda signed to them and his hair? LOL. We’ll get to that in a minute. LOL. The latest buzz w/ 5-0 is he’s sick and tired of…..Interscope Records? SMFH. What else is new? LOL.
“Ok I tried to be cool with my record company . I went to the meeting talk to everyone and sh*t feels like there moving in slow motion,” he tweeted June 16th. “I’m sorry to announce I will not be releasing a new album this year if we don’t get on the same page.” “I would rather not launch my album with out a plan the whole system is executing. I don’t know why they play with me they know how I get.” “My whole career iv been doing sh*t and they have been playing catch up this is the last f*cking album THEY BETTER WAKE UP AND WORK” “Yo DRE has some really good music. The song I did with him should come out soon. I think ill wait till he comes out to drop.” (5-0 Cent’s Twitter)
^ SMFH. Now, I know what y’all are thinking. “Bulldog Butters, what the f*ck? We read this sh*t already.” HA! Yeah, doggies, you’re right but y’all have such weak memories that I wanted to give y’all 5-0′s Top 3 Worst New LP Promises that he’s failed to deliver. SMFH.
1. Techno Album Sh*t (March 14, 2010)
“I actually recorded three songs,” Fif revealed to interviewer Jonas Pettersen. “I had this idea, I went to a nightclub, afterparty, and it was a different kind of music going on there a little while before I actually got there. You know they play your music when you come, but the music they played before, they started playing material I created, which was more uptempo, more dance. I wanted to make a song like that so I went to the studio because I’m traveling with my live band, I took the band with me and we sequenced it and recorded the actual record while I was out there. I did two of the songs I had production for and I had been writing those songs for a while so I finished them and actually recorded them while I was out here…Black Magic project, I’m excited about it. It has a different vibe, I won’t allow myself to be placed in a box where I can only do one style or do one kind of music…If they can understand how I enjoy different genres of music, for the people who have various tastes, they’ll really like it.” (Most Hated TV 81)
2. Lose Your Head (September 21, 2010)
“Curtis not cutting hair until my album is done I’m going hard this time f*ck it. My music is crazy right now http://plixi.com/p/46422784″ (50 Cent’s Twitter)
3. My “Detox” Oh No, Wait, My “Get Rich Or Die Tryin’” (Nov. 20, 2010 & May 13, 2011)
“What [fans] are hearing are just my ideas,” Fif said in an interview. “This is my Detox album, it may take ten years and you gonna wait on it until it comes but when it do come, it’ll be perfect. I recorded 20 songs to a whole different album concept before I put that on the side and said I wanna do this, what I’m doing now. I’ma write until I feel like I have something perfect. I feel like music marks time and it’s important to put out the ‘right’ sound for that ‘right’ moment. Like my Curtis album, people said my Curtis album wasn’t good and it had ‘Ayo Technology,’ number one record on the album. It had ‘I Get Money,’ ‘I Still Kill’ featuring Akon, Robin Thicke, so many hit records on the actual album, I’m like, ‘What are you listening to?’ But I guess I look at it and say it’s timing…There’s nobody in hip-hop that possesses the ability to do what I do. I’m more exciting than these people. I genuinely believe that…” (MTV News) “I been working hard my album its almost done. I took my time now every body’s gonna hear 2011 GET RICH OR DIE TRYING. The meanest sh*t,” he tweeted May 11th. (50 Cent’s Twitter)
SMFH. And to top that off doggies?
^ LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GTFOH!!!!!!!
2. Happy Shooter’s Day
F*ck All Hip Hop. LOL. Well, that might be a bit brash, no shots fired, doggies. LOL. But I do blame those doggies for stirring up a whole bunch of silly sh*t that holds ab-so-f*cking-lutely no weight in 2Pac’s life. Now here me out, doggies. Long story short, AHH had the Internet going nutz, pause, by getting some doggy, that’s locked up, to admit to shooting, NOT KILLING, Pac back in 1994. Yeah, some G.Dep sh*t right there. Now here lies the problem. First off, doggy’s a** is ALREADY locked up and since Pac didn’t die, that 17 year-old crime confession is pointless. Secondly, this is really on some snitch sh*t b/c not only did doggy come up with some wack a** reason for confessing but AHH says he admitted it to call out Jimmy Henchman? SMFH. Bullsh*t.
“I want to apologize to his family [Tupac Shakur] and for the mistake I did for that sucker [Jimmy Henchman],” Dexter Isaac told AllHipHop.com from prison. “I am trying to clean it up to give [Tupac and Biggie's] mothers some closure.” Isaac said he was comfortable going on record relating to the robbery and shooting, since the statute of limitations had expired. Legally, no one can be prosecuted for the assault at this time. Isaac was a lifelong friend of Jimmy Henchmen, who helped the former mogul set up his first company, Henchman Entertainment, in 1989. (All Hip Hop)
^ And wouldn’t y’all know it. Jimmy’s attorney gets involved and pretty much shoots the sh*t down.
“It’s a flat out lie,” Rosemond’s lawyer Jeffrey Lichtman told the Daily News. “Dexter Isaac is not claiming this 17 years later to clear his conscience. He’s doing it because he’s told anybody who will listen he doesn’t want to die in prison. He has kids and wants to work off his sentence. He can’t be trusted.” (New York Daily News)
SMFH. So for 48-72 hours, doggies, this sh*t just got blown out of proportion. The reason I got an issue w/ AHH is because they could have saved this for AFTER Pac’s birthday. I mean, WTF? They could have ran this on Friday so doggies could have rode to Pac’s sh*t on his 40th b-day yesterday. SMFH. For the doggies who don’t give a d*mn about this ’94 sh*t, THIS is what should have been covered:
1. In 2004, Pac was given the title of the highest selling rap/hip-hop artists of all time in the Guinness Book of Records – at that point he had sold 67 million records. 2) Tupac’s official cause of death was respiratory failure and cardiopulmonary arrest. 3) Tupac’s birth name is Lesane Parish Crooks according to birth records. His mother had his name changed much later due to problems with Pac’s father. 4) Tupac auditioned for the role of Bubba in “Forrest Gump.” 5) Tupac wrote Shock G’s verse on his 1992 single “I Get Around.” 6) Pac originally rhymed under the name MC New York when he was a teen in Baltimore. 7) Tupac’s 1995 album Me Against the World became a #1 album when it was released, making Pac the first artist in history to have a LP debut at the top of The Billboard 200 while in prison. 8 ) Tupac once made an appearance on the sitcom “A Different World.” 9) Tupac was originally set to star in “Menace To Society” in the role of O-Dog, who was portrayed by Larenz Tate. 10) Tupac was housed in the Clinton Correctional Facility, the same prison that rapper Shyne also served time in.
^ Big ups to MTV. They did a 40 Facts On Pac’s 40th B-Day. Peep the rest here, doggies.
3. Doggy of the Week: Tech N9ne
If y’all doggies would have asked me a couple years ago who Tech N9ne was, I would have told y’all, “Some gothic doggy that raps with paint on his face.” Now look. A few Lil Wayne co-signs and mainstream buzz has doggy on the come-up, f*ck if he’s d*mn near 40 and we’re just now messing with him. Doggy couldn’t be in any better of a situation. He’s got that indie sh*t on lock and right now, indie is that sh*t! Odd Future showed that it’s the indie market that’s really smashing doggies these days. But let me stop bullsh*tting. Doggies, take off your d*mn caps and button up your shirts straight, Tech N9ne is doggy of the week!
1. I Am The Blueprint, Doggies
“I would change the major labels’ tendency to try and clone successful acts. We need people who are visionaries and take chances, like Def Jam took chances. I want the labels to stop trying to make Jay-Z clones and to make Eminem clones. I want them to break some new artists.” (Prefix Mag)
^ That’s a d*mn good wish right there, doggies. What really impresses me about Tech N9ne is he isn’t on that typical sh*t. You know, the “F*CK THE MAJORS!!!!” sh*t. Doggy acknowledges majors will probably never go away and embraces that fact. Instead of bashing, doggy keeps it gully and says he wishes they would just take some time to look at what else is out there. You can’t argue doggies point right there.
2. I Don’t Do Soulja Boy Numbers Anymore, Doggies
Leading the pack this week is Tech N9ne’s All 6′s & 7′s opening up at No. 4 behind Book of Mormon’s Original Cast Recording(60,700), Lady Gaga’s Born This Way (100,200) and Adele’s 21(114,300). According to Nielsen SoundScan, Tech’s latest offering has sold 55,800 pieces after seven days in stores.
^ LMFAO!!! Shots fired! LOL! Nah, just f*cking with you Soulja Boy! LOL! But on some real sh*t. If y’all didn’t believe me when I said the tide is changing, just peep those numbers. Doggies, I have yet to hear ONE Tech N9ne song played on Hot 97 out here in NYC and yet doggy manages to sell more first-week albums than Fat Joe/Soulja Boy/Saigon combined? Nah, f*ck that, he sold more than Maybach Music Group!?!?!? WTF?
3. Mo’ Co-Signs, Mo’ Co-Signs Doggy
You know what’s incredible is even with me being from New York, I really have to go with a universal type of individual like Tech N9ne. I’m an avid fan of Tech N9ne. With [him], I’m coming from a lyrical standpoint but I’m also coming from the business aspect of it. I say Tech N9ne in the sense that when it comes to the lyrical part of it, he’s an individual that was able to play with words. He was able to capture a market. He not only captured a market including people of color, but a market that includes rock, the white fans, the Asian fans. He wasn’t afraid to play with his words. He wasn’t afraid to take it to the dark side and get a feature from “this” type of artist or “that” type of artist. (SOHH Guest Star)
^ Uh, who the f*ck is Terrell Blair? SMFH. Anyways, that’s still a good look, I guess. LOL!!!
4. They Calling Me, Doggies, They Calling Me
“They’ve already been calling, since last year or the year before. They’ve already been calling and asking us questions and stuff,” Tech said referring to the majors. “I think Strange Music will be the major this year or next year. It’s looking that way…You might wanna ask [my business partner] Travis this question [of joining a major]. He’ll probably say it’ll have to be around $900 million or something [to sign a deal]. We’re good.” (MTV)
^ Now if this was Rick Ross or 5-0 Cent, I would say, “Yeah, call me when you’re done bullsh*tting.” LOL. But the fact that Tech N9ne is saying he’s getting calls from majors and that he won’t sell his soul to join them is big sh*t. I mean, doggy doesn’t even seem motivated and why should he? He sold more albums independently than doggies with a major buzz. I applaud Tech N9ne off that sh*t alone. Drake f*cked up by going with Universal Motown. I think in the long run, it won’t pay off. Yeah, he can say that they worked out some deal so it’s indie but imagine him selling close to a million with some type of Koch deal? SMFH. Tech just sh*tted on him, doggies!
4. Mrs. Butterworth: Coco
Doggies, I’m not the type that messes with reality television. At all. But since Ice-T and Coco look like they’re actually repping their sh*t and not doing some corny a** reality series, I figured why the h*ll not focus on Ice’s chick? I mean, Coco has always had a fatty and even though I’m a doggy that loves natural, organic delights, who cares if Coco’s chest is manufactured? Ice/Coco still claim that the a** is real. LOL. So let me stop yappin’ and allow y’all to enjoy Coco’s juice. LOL.
^ SMFH. Doggies, doggies, doggies. Ice-T has a bad chick on his hands right here. LOL. But if y’all are like me and need something a bit more than fine art, then peep the visuals.
^ SMFH. Doggies, Ice-T is one lucky motherf*cker. That’s a d*mn fact right there. LOL!!!
5. “STFU” Honors
Doggies, do me a favor and don’t believe anything these rap doggies are saying either in interviews or on rap songs. SMFH. This last week has proved one thing. Doggies still talk wild sh*t and don’t think about the aftermath of what they’re spewing. SMFH. Shawty Lo over-hyped about signing to G-Unit leads to him calling 5-0 Cent a f*cking genius. SMFH. Then we have J. Cole breaking the rule of all rules. Setting a deadline for an album. Come the h*ll on doggies! Dr. Dre can’t even live up to a deadline, neither can Jay-Z, Cole’s boss! So the idea his LP will drop “no later than” any date is ridiculous. Ja Rule’s wife saying they’re not broke? LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! Didn’t doggy owe millions a few months ago? SMFH. Ice-T as a gangster? LMFAO!!!! Wait, really, doggies?
……LMFAO!!!! And last but not least? Kreayshawn getting quiet as h*ll about using the “N-WORD?” SMFH. Funny how the more interviews she does about it, the more uncomfortable she looks. LOL. Doggies, in case y’all didn’t already know, welcome to SHUT THE F*CK UP Honors!
“This is like something before the album, my new situation with G-Unit was just solidified and I got off the phone with 50 yesterday, I just signed a really large deal,” Shawty Lo said revealing plans to drop a new mixtape called B.H.F. “It’s like a new beginning and all I needed was someone behind me. 50 [Cent] is a marketing genius and I got my new thing D4L and G-Unit and we going to be working the South and the rest of the world if need be.”
“I’m trying to find ways to word it without sounding overly egotistical, and I want to remain humble, but also let people know it’s actually (really) incredible,” Cole said about the new LP. “I’m sitting on gold, man. I don’t wanna speak it up too much but I’m super confident in it. I’m super proud.” The album is due “absolutely no later than September,” says Cole, who’s been reticent to release an album title or date until both are set in stone.
Ja’s wife Aisha tells TMZ, “He did leave us well off. All of the rumors about Ja being broke are far from true.” Aisha adds, “Ja made sure … that me and my kids wouldn’t need anything as far as income goes. He planned well before he went in.” “We won’t be bad … even for a little bit — that was Ja’s first priority as a man who makes sure familycomes first.”
“I hope we inspire people,” Ice-T told SOHH. “I hope we help people look and say, ‘You know what? You can be a couple, you can have fun, it doesn’t have to be drama, you can get money, you can hustle together. You can Bonnie and Clyde this thing out. You can have a sexy wife. You can have a gangster husband. You can enjoy life and it doesn’t have to be drama.’ Right now, if you watch TV you won’t think there’s a happy woman in the world. So we’re gonna show you it doesn’t have to be the madness. We are functional. It’s wild but I think people really want to believe that. If you’ve followed me and my career, you don’t want to believe it’s bad. You want to say, ‘How did you do that sh*t Ice? How did y’all do that sh*t? Me and my girl want to do that sh*t.”
“I never said it in any of my music,” Kreayshawn promised in an interview. “Ever. [You heard it in my music video?] It might have been my sister, V-Nasty ’cause she says it all the time. That’s just because she grew up all different. Like, she goes in and out of jail for armed robbery all the time. Like, her mom calls her that. So that’s her stuff. Personally, I don’t say it in my music. It’s not my place but you know, that’s her.”
***All is right in the world, doggies. The Miami Heat have lost, LeBron James is still ringless and the New York Knicks are gonna win the Finals next year! LOL. Aight, let me stop bullsh*tting! LMFAO!!! But on some real sh*t doggies, basketball season is done so let’s get the baseball season rolling. Y’all know them Yankees are gonna catch up to those Redsox for that 2011 World Series rematch! Until then though, round up a few dollars and show your pops some love, doggies! Father’s Day is near! –BB***
50 Cent’s 3 Worst Promises, 2Pac’s Shooter’s Back, Tech N9ne Lets It Spray
Tags: lebron james, To Society, Bulldog, Internet going nutz
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