Warning: Crazy Liver Cleanse Story « Dalai Lina
It comes as little surprise to me that I am about to explain to you in great detail the type, color and consistency of my bowel movements. I am just that like of girl: I am an open book and there isn’t much I won’t share. Much to the chagrin of my quite, polite husband. But, January, 2010, kicked off my year of cleansing: cleansing my body, my house and my mind. And when you clean house, there is a lot of crap to throw away. First stop: a major liver detox!
Why the liver? Well, this all started about a year ago when I went to an Iridologist. Iridology is the practice of diagnosing medical problems through signs in the eye. When I heard about a well know local doctor and iridologist, my curiosity got the better of me. Everything checked out fine except a weakness in my liver. Whatever. So I started taking Milk Thistle and called it a day.
A few months later, on a recommendation of a friend, I made an appointment with well know Chiropractor who was visiting and teaching in the Kansas City area for a few days. What I thought was going to be a simple adjustment turned into a full-blown Charka cleansing that resembled something in The Exorcist. I was lying on a table with four people standing around me rubbing, stimulating and sensing my Charka energy. Guess what they sensed? My liver was jacked up. Seriously? I hardly drink and eat mostly organic whole foods. WTF?
Confused and disappointed, I later expressed my feelings to my regular Chiropractor. She immediately called in the center’s acupuncturist to evaluate me. Without being told what I was concerned about, she had an opinion in a few minutes: my liver. Now this is getting ridiculous. Obviously I got the hint loud and clear. I was off to find a liver cleanse.
My research led me to a book called The Liver and Gallbladder Miracle Cleanse by Andreas Mortiz. The information was really interesting and the cleanse looked doable. The goal of the cleanse was to eliminate the stones that collect in the gallbladder and even in the liver ducts that decrease its functionality. For 6 days I ate clean (no animal products and mostly fruits, veggies and whole grains) and drank 32 ounces of organic unfiltered apple juice A DAY (which really made my kids mad – they didn’t buy my excuse that “mommy’s is on a special diet for my health that requires vats of juice that you can’t drink because it is unhealthy”) I’m convinced that the gallons of juice I consumed counteracted any good I did to my liver.
But I regress…now for the fun part. On the 6th day of the cleanse, I drank a specific order and timing of Epsom Salt in water, olive juice mixed with grapefruit juice, and more Epson Salt water. Gurgle gurgle. Warning: The content of the next paragraph is for mature readers only and should not be read if you are prone to nausea, nightmares, or irregular heartbeats.
It began around 7am the morning of the 7th day. I was sitting comfortable in my bed and the next thing I know I am about to have explosive diarrhea on my unsuspecting husband who has been patiently dealing with my strange behavior for the past week. I barely made it to the bathroom, and when I did, it was a liquid explosion. But, even though it felt like pure fluid, when I looked in the toilet, hundreds of little green pea like stones were gazing up at me. CRAZY!
Over the next 24 hours I had to be close to a bathroom. The first 5 hours were the most intense, and after that there were only a couple trips to the toilet. Each “elimination” was filled with green stones of varying sizes. On the 8th day, when I had a somewhat normal bathroom experience, I figured the stone production would be over. I was wrong. Now there were over 100 white pebbles! The green stones are green from the bile and the white stones are white from calcification. I felt like I was a science experiment.
Now, you know I cannot help myself; I have to show you pictures of these cool pebbles of toxic waste. If you must know how I collected them, I used a plastic spoon and fished them out of the toilet and into an old disposable Glad tupperware. After some awkward moments between my housecleaner and me, I collected approximately 125 stones. (and left at least as many to be dealt with by Kansas City Municipal Sewage) Like a proud mother who has just given birth to her first child, I can’t help but want to share these fascinating pictures. Introducing my newest toxic elimination….
Warning: Crazy Liver Cleanse Story « Dalai Lina
Tags: mortiz, explosive diarrhea, kansas city area, local doctor, clean house, Lina Warning, regular Chiropractor
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