The Mud and the Lotus: From Jeremy’s Mom
This was written as a comment by Jeremy’s mom. It was commented on “My Endo Story” post, and I wanted to put it on my blog because it gave me hope that as heartbreaking as things in life can be, esp with health issues, there is so much to look forward to, and women have been doing it for years and years. We’re not alone. I can’t wait to meet her (hopefully over Thanksgiving!) to thank her in person for her support and her sharing.
Sonja, just reading parts of your blog.. very interesting to me as I have many of the same struggles. I was 23 when I was diagnosed with PID and after several surgeries, I had a complete hysterectomy/oopherectomy. that means my uterus, both ovaries, both fallopian tubes, and my cervix were all removed. My female organs were a total mess due to the inability of the male doctors to understand PID (this was in 1982-83) and their failure to to treat my problem correctly. It was brought on by probable chlamydia (an unfaithful husband) and carried into my female organs with the help of an IUD. So many issues here that only make me angry, but the bottom line is that over the years I have learned to deal with to the best of my ability the infertility, chronic pain and bowel and colon problems due to huge amounts of scar tissue and adhesions that adhere my colon to my abdominal wall. Plus the fact that I am no longer able to hold a job and have been living on SSDI for the past 8 years. A word for all this? SUCKS BIGTIME!
I do have things to be very grateful for, I had my son Jeremy in 1980, before the problems started. Best time of my life was being pregnant (albeit unmarried), owning , my own nice home to raise him in, giving birth to him, and being a happy single mother.. That changed when I met my first husband, but that’s another whole story. Perhaps you have realized that my son is the Jeremy that is Sonja’s love. Not to give myself too much credit, but I think that living with me for the first 16 years of his life, and the closeness we have shared since, may have helped Jeremy understand the physical and emotional problems that have been part of my life since he was a 3 year old. Hopefully, he has seen how I have overcome many problems and I would say that I usually come out on top. I have had many awesome experiences in my life, I finally earned an Associates Degree in business 15 years ago, I have known some beautiful people – men and women – and I have even done some traveling – once overseas and living down in the deep south for several years. Hope to do more, but I am ok with my life as it is now.
I deal with my physical problems and my emotional problems with the help of lots of meds and more importantly, knowing what foods I am better off not eating and what foods help my internal machinery work better. I also know that relaxation is good, I must avoid stressful situations which is impossible, so I take anti-anxiety pills when I need to. I take Bentyl, which relaxes my bowels – it is prescribed for Irritable Bowel Syndrome which is actually a symptom to me, and I take gabapentin, a lot of it. It is a non-narcotic pain pill that works on the nerves. Also helps me relax. I take amitriptyline at nite, helps me sleep as well as manage pain.. Another girl with chronic pain suggested this many years ago. AND I take an antidepressant. When the pain begins in the afternoon, I take my scripts as well as Ibuprofen. I try to avoid getting hard core pain meds such as Vicodin, which works, but taking it for long term makes you need more for the same effect. Darvocet has worked for me, not so addicting as far as tolerance.
One other thing that I have found can help, if you have a committed love in your life, is sexual activity. For some, the pain may worsen but for me, if the pain is such that I am able to ‘be there’ for my guy, it can make me feel much better for some time. Or even being held in bed feeling the love helps too.. BTW, my guy is someone I met 8 years ago, and has become my BFF with benefits. He was even there for me emotionally when I tried to make a doomed relationship in the cities work for 2 1/2 years. 
Ok, I love to write, but I don’t blog, don’t know how to start, but when my son directed me to Sonja’s site, I visited it and it feels like maybe my story and my suggestions can actually help someone because only people with similar problems and chronic pain can truly help another. Of course, it also helps a lot to have many supportive people in your life – family, friends, a significant other…
The Mud and the Lotus: From Jeremy’s Mom
Tags: son jeremy, ssdi, colon problems, iud, adhesions
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